The start of "The Last Days"

Today was my first "last day of school" as a teacher.  The day brought many emotions and I was left thinking about the picture of what I imagined it would be like as a teacher.

Last day of school picture: Students arrive happy and bubbly bringing in a card or sometimes even gift for the teacher probably dressed in a fun summer end-of-the-year outfit that their mom no doubt took a million pictures of.  Students and teacher share memories of the school year and play some of their favorite games.  An end of the year party will be thrown with no doubt treats.  As students leave at the end of the day, they hold their teacher in a long hug and say I'll miss you and I'll come back and visit you next year.

The picture of my day:  Student arrive and many are dressed inappropriately and not in uniform because I guess the rules don't apply the last day.  While working on puzzles as morning work instead of the normal morning work, students begin discussing inappropriate behavior that happened on the bus last night.  The day is filled with complaints. Why do we have to listen to you read a story?  Do I have to color this picture? As we celebrate our end of the year party by having sundaes (complete with sprinkles and whipped cream) and watching "Up" no thank you's are said but the room is quiet of complaints for the time being.  After finishing our treats, the movie is quickly forgotten and inappropriate discussions begin again. The end of the day is spent passing out a gift bought for each by myself (a chapter book, crayons, pencils, and erasers).  A student says, "This is it?  A book?  That's the best you could do?"  I told the student I thought this was disrespectful.  "Take it then"  he said and proceeded to give the book back.  As students get on the bus some give a quick hug, some give a high five, and some simply walk by. The day is done.  The year is done.

The picture has changed.  No hand made cards, no grateful hearts, no long felt hugs.   All I pray is that they have learned more than perhaps what was shown today.  I hope they don't hate me as many times as they said.  I hope I made a difference.

I wish people could understand how a teacher can mean so many different things.  This was quite the first year.  I have never heard so many people say they have never seen or heard of a harder school. As hard as it was, I would never take it back because I KNOW I am better for it.  I hope my bunch at my new school next year are ready...this teacher is ready to try it all over again!

I knew I should have stayed home

I got in a fight this morning....with a wall.  You might have seen it on facebook or instagram.  I had this strong feeling while driving to work, not 5 minutes later, that I should have called in.  Then again what does one say to their principal....I uh didn't want to turn on the lights to run upstairs quick because I didn't want to disturb my husband and then I ran straight into a corner.  Also in case you've never heard this one....it's more work for a teacher to call-in than to just be there.  Suck it up girl and just keep driving.  Oh and don't take that ice off...yes I'm vain and was concerned about how large this bruise was going to end up.

If you are thinking to yourself that my decision to not turn that car around was a bad choice...you might have been right.  While I did have what I believe to be a productive meeting this morning...the day was only getting started.

"Dang Mrs. Sullivan"

"No Mrs. Sullivan"

"I don't have to listen to you Mrs. Sullivan"

Long story short the day ended with myself and all the students still alive, and one two three students suspended for tomorrow.  Now, since all three of these students have been suspended 2-3 other times in the past two weeks it got me thinking.  1. Is this working? 2. Do they hate me? 3. Am I teaching them anything? These kids need so much help in so many different ways.  I wish there was 14 of me....wait 15 of me....one for each student and an extra to make copies and file.

Three suspensions was clearly not enough though.  Yesterday we were suppose to have our new printer delivered.  Since no one was home, the delivery man called Patrick and let me know that he was bringing it back to the store that we had ordered it at because no one was home. I get it, no big deal.  So later last night we went to the store...no printer.  We figured he just didn't drop it off and yet and it would be there tomorrow.  So today I got off school and called the store to make sure it was there before I drove there.  No printer.  I get home.  No printer.  I call them back and they tell me that the printer has shown up as being delivered...to our house.  I'm standing in my house right now and there is no printer here.  Uh...don't think so, try again.  We then called the number back of the delivery man who called Patrick yesterday.  Now his story is that he brought it back to his office and someone brought it to office depot in who knows where.  Great news....let me just start calling every office depot.  We found this delivery company and called them.  They eventually figured out that it was currently being shipped to the USA's office depot main warehouse....ARE YOU KIDDING ME? We need to go back to the store and reorder it. Patrick calmly freaked out...he was brilliant.  Obviously we don't want you to deal with our item again because you are a shipping company and have yet to ship it somewhere where we can get it!  She put him on hold....

"Sir, I have suddenly found your box in our warehouse.  

We will send it out with someone and should arrive before 7."

Yup, that's what I thought.  

Needless to say the evening ended with a wonderful trip to WhichWich....if you have not had the opportunity to eat dive into one of these sandwiches, I'm sorry to inform you that you are missing out.  I am opening up our spare room to anyone that needs to drive two minutes down the road from us to experience the goodness....No joke

So there it is.  Props to you if you got to the end....you might now understand why I should have turned the car around.  Oh well, I survived...and maybe just these type of days make us better because of it. 

A Reflection...

So when you get deep into learning in college about what it means to be a teacher you hear this word a lot

Reflection

I feel like I heard this word so much in college that I was reflecting upon my reflections.  While my reflecting looks differently in real teacher life you are required to do a formal reflection with many many questions after an observation.  Well I had my first full observation today done by my principal...before I get to the reflection part, I must "paint you a picture" (as I'm trying to teach my third graders in writing).

The math lesson begins with all students having just had a bathroom break and water break so this does not need to be done during.  We are learning about fractions. "Mrs. Sullivan when is that teacher coming to get me?"  "I already said at the end of math." I made a real world problem using a pillsbury can of biscuits and everything....people we opened the can put the biscuits into groups and everything....amazing stuff here!  They only cared about who could dare who to eat a biscuit.  No one cared about my fraction problem, no one cared that I was trying to make this hands-on, no one cared that I was trying to teach a lesson, no one cared I was in the room and asking them to stop talking.  I try to power through.   "Mrs. Sullivan when is that teacher coming to get me?"  "I already said at the end of math."Cue principal walking into chaos after the lesson has already started for 15 minutes. Cue: 4 students walk to tissue box and drinking fountain so lovely placed inside the classroom (I swear this is a rule I've already set in place and talked about multiple times...I promise).  "Mrs. Sullivan when is that teacher coming to get me?"  "I already said at the end of math."

Umm where am I....am I invisible?  Do they realize I'm here?

Students begin shouting at one another about nothing that has to do with anything I'm talking about....we have moved past the biscuit problem.  "Mrs. Sullivan when is that teacher coming to get me?"  "I already said at the end of math."We are then in the process of moving into our guided math rotations.  These groups have been carefully placed together and have been the same groups ALL WEEK long.  Students now begin shouting at each other about who does or doesn't want to be in each other's group.  "Mrs. Sullivan when is that teacher coming to get me?"  "At the end of math.""Is it the end of math yet?"

Oh my gosh...are my tears visible?  breathe breathe breathe

We continue through groups.  Erasers have been thrown, iPads have been picked up off the table which is the number one rule not to do.  So very many words have been said.  There was blood...oh wait that was yesterday.   "Mrs. Sullivan when is that teacher coming to get me?"  "At the end of math."

I don't know how...not even kidding....but we get to the end and get to gym....well almost all of us get to gym.  And yes that teacher did come at the end of math...I know you were dying to find out!

So reflect right? What could I have done better?  Maybe a lot or maybe I honestly have absolutely no idea because I did everything I could.  What wasn't included in this story is all the times I asked students to take a break and all of them that told me no.  I know I planned an amazing lesson and I know it was pretty hard to tell to the untrained eye during.  But in the end, I'm willing to go back tomorrow and try it all over again.  I was called to teach these kids.  I have never had any doubt in my mind.  But if I was called to it, why does it have to be so dang hard?  How do I figure out if I'm doing my job?  I might say teaching them "how to do school" at the end of the year was our accomplishment this year, but if you have read any articles about MPS teachers lately you would know that's not considered good enough.  It's hard teaching where I do and days like today make it just that much harder.  The day ended with a student throwing a desk across the room.  I still love my job though.  I'm surrounded by amazing teachers that are so supportive and inspire me every day. God said go...so here I am.

Welcome to Our New Home!

It's been a long road getting here, but I am so excited to share our new home!  It's located in Golden Valley, MN which so close to Minneapolis our address sometimes comes up as Minneapolis depending on how you search it.  A quick 15 minutes drive to work for me with no highways, but close enough for every highway Patrick would need to jump on to get to his different schools.  I would love for everyone to visit in person...we even have a room for you now!!  But for now, here are some pictures (please keep in mind we just moved yesterday so there are a few things we're still working on).

The Entrance

The front of our townhouse!  To the right is a little patio area, Mom and I were already coming up ideas for this space in the summer!

Standing at the door.  To the right is our living room, ahead is a wonderful coat closet, and then the stairs to our second level.

Main Level

Living Room

Probably one of my favorite parts of the house.  All this blue makes my kitchen pop!

Off the kitchen.  Closest door on left is a utility closet, farthest on the left is the door to the stairs that lead to the garage, right door is another coat closet and the space left leads to a door which is the downstairs bathroom.

Downstairs Bathroom

Stairs down to the underground garage

Let's Go Upstairs!

Loft area at the top of the stairs

Follow the loft around the corner and you get to the laundry closet on the right, second bedroom straight ahead, and to the right is the master bedroom and upstairs bathroom.

Second Bedroom

Master Bedroom

Walk-in closet

Upstairs Bathroom

I hope you enjoyed your tour!  Can't wait to have to visit! Also a huge shout out to all our family who helped make this fast move possible!

Cute kids, pretty goodies, and how I survived

I won't let the title lie....First some very overdue pictures of two of the cutest kids I know.  I'm so excited to be back in Minnesota for so many reasons, but for sure one of them is so I can soak up precious moments with these little ones.

Putting in donation change for the visit

Staying just close enough

These kids are beautiful!!!!!!!

Checking out the animal prints

Feeding the goats some grass.

Two seconds  before this he was having a melt down...ahh the joys of being 2!

So second on the list was pretty goodies.  Although many people couldn't make it to mom and my's Noonday Collection party, we still decorated and had a whole bunch of fun.  I snapped a few pictures of our special goodies.

Make your own drink station

Gold glitter caramel kettle corn...homemade and very addicting!

Pink raspberry rice krispy treats

Now for number three...how I survived.  I have officially made it through my very first week of teaching.  This school is like nothing I have ever seen before.  I feel blessed to have been considered a teacher that can help this school.  On top of being the very first year it's opened, it is filled with students who's parents moved them because they weren't making it at their old school.  My good days are the terrible days at any other school.  Most of these students are living in shelters or even on the streets.  They have seen, heard, and been a part of way more than any child ever should.  Students tell you "I'm not a good kid" because that's all they've heard.  The students in my grade are one, two, and even three grade levels behind.  I have one student on target, the rest being below.  I had to physically restrain a child two days this week so she didn't beat up another student in our class.  All of this being said, this is EXACTLY where I want to be.  When you can connect with a child that comes from all of this, it is worth so much more than I have ever experienced.  Will this class be able to get caught back up to grade level?  I hope so, but most likely not.  My goal though is for them to grow as a person and get to a point where they can finally believe in themselves.  I have a very long year ahead of me.  But as I spend this year helping these students grow, they are helping me to grow as well.  Thank you Third Grade Cityview Superstars. I can't wait to get to know you even more.

Meet our little girl

Okay so maybe if I ever have a real daughter she might be a little offended but for now she's our baby girl. 

This is Sapphire.  

We ventured to Iowa Saturday to go pick her up. We knew she was the one when she came up to me and started licking my fingers. She's quiet yet adventurous and very curious.  She is still working on letting her bravery catch up to her curiosity though. She is quiet all day long....nighttime is another story.  I think she is preparing us for parenthood in that area.  She thinks Lady (my parents' dog) is her best friend and always wants to play, however Lady does not think the same.  Although she was not so sure of the grass the first time her paws touched, she now bounces through it with joy.

Long story short...I love her!

On our way to pick her up!

She found that mulch was just her size...this was her first piece though.  She kept getting braver and found bigger pieces.

Her favorite spot is under mom's coffee table

Family photo

She posed for me...I had to grab the camera

I put the black sharpie to work...teacher's best friend!

The bow...too much!

So some may say I'm over the top, but I've waited so long for a sweetie like her and she is just too perfect.  Even her crying and baby howls at night doesn't make me love her any less.

I'm so glad you are now in your forever home baby girl!